It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's hacking at the walls
I have developed two mouth ulcers. They show up every so often and hang around for a week or two, souring my outlook on life. This seems to be a hereditary thing, so I'll mark it as the first of th Three Woes my paternal DNA will probably subject me to1. I call them Jimminy and Monstrous. Because they are partly caused by rubbing on my teeth (Jimminy on my lower left canine and Monstrous on an upper right incisor, if you're interested), holding my lips in any kind of normal human position is painful. So is talking, eating and smiling. Consequently I have spent all day in a simian grimace. On the plus side, at least this makes it extremely unlikely that anyone will want me to kiss them soon.2
My dinner tastes of blood. Sigh.
1. Early baldness and gall stones on the way! Woohoo!
2. I hate to disappoint. I hate to disappoint due to mouth wounds even more.