The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Saturday, June 02, 2007


Current mood: Vocabulaire.

This morning I woke up from a dream about ghost pirates1, sat straight up in bed and said "Everyone is misusing the word sensible to mean prudent!"

On my way to work I found myself stuggling to phrase something: I needed an intensifier. What is it? Am I dead adjective? Am I proper adjective? Oh, now I remember: I'm rather adjective.

I'm rather glad I never got the twang of my Anglo-Welsh or Anglo-caribean grandparents. Despite my Debnshur upbringing, I never promise to do things dreckly2, or call shopkeepers my lover. There are many reasons I'll never be a BBC radio announcer from the 1950s, but my accent is not one of them.3

However, my verbal styles are not adamant and, it seems, you don't have to be around me to influence me. Case in point: I have been known to refer to "July second" instead of "the second of July". I refer to sidewalks instead of pavements, TV shows instead of TV programs and, when on a price-gun safari, I keep prices in my head by reciting mantras of the form "custard powder: dollar forty-nine".

It's like the Clinton years all over again.

1. Actually true.
2. Directly.
3. I am too radical for the strictures of the black-and-white era.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Midnight Movies

California rockers singing Knights in White Satin in french. I approve.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Oh internet, you are so silly