The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

waaaait a second

Did I just wirte a prapgraph that contained both the word "proprietary" and "propriety"?

I think... I think the nationality by contrast effect is making me regress to my spiritual home: Oxford.

The Dish

I have now lived in a shared house for a fair slice of my life, and I know that people approach certain contentious issues with different cultural backgrounds.

For example, in the context of dishes, what constitutes "clean" and what constitutes grounds for an irate note? What period of time seperates "I'll do them in a minute?" from a more defiant, edgy artistic message?

Then there's the whole proprietary-dish debate. In Regent Street, we knew that some people are protective of mugs. The mug with Odin on it is mine, the one with Tigger belongs to Emmathy, and I have no doubt that by now the Goose mug is somewhere in either Boston or Greenville, SC. It's not important, or even something you can describe, but there are proprieties. In the month I have lived here, Odin has spent a great deal of his time AWOL.

When you get right down to it, who is more worthy of admiration: Batman,for his dilligence, or Superman, for his idealism?

I'm being pretty placid about the whole afffair because this is the first time that I have ever lived with someone with noticably lower dish-standard than myself and, as Jesus said, people in bamboo houses shouldn't throw pandas. However, that has not saved me from having the awkward conversation where someone attempts to justify themselves to you when all you really want to do is drink a beer and watch Scrubs for two hours.

When it all seems a little too much, you have to dig deep down and remember what it is that bought you thogether in the first place.

Also, political snap of the day: Vampires wouldn't surround themselves with crosses.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Rain check

I have to adjust my lifestyle and set my alarm to go off earlier by the amount of time it takes me to think of something witty and type. I will multiplex this time so that my toasted sandwich delights can cool down before I put them in the bag, thereby avoiding a tropical morass forming around my lunch.

For today, I'm just going to have to take a rain check.

Note for my British readers: This derives from baseball, not cricket, so here's what it means.

NO: The "check" has revelaed that the "rain" is beyond acceptable limits, so we will put the covers out and drink tea for the next six hours. This event should be considered postponed to some indefinate time.
YES: On account of "rain" the "ball game" cannot go ahead as planned, but since you have "paid for a ticket" you may have this promissary note, or "check" (Cheque) for free admission at the next game. This event should be considered postponed to a definite date in the future.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Welcome home

Is it just me, or was Blogger particularly truculent yesterday?

Also, I am connnected to a wireless network called "Cloud City" and wearing a dressing gown. If this isn't a return to form, it's a very embarassing approximation of it.

Also, I thought up something witty about my housemates but I'm not going to post it because a) Only three or four people in the world wil get it and b) the non-inside-joke part is pretty mean-spirited. Let me just say that the parallels are remarkable.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

You shall have the body

I think I've spoken before about the nature of being English, and the suprising fact that it features very little in people's sense of self when compared to most other races on this island. I can almost guarantee that anyone who is proud of being English is not someone you'd really want to spend an afternoon with

The exception is when you're precipitated into the company of foreigners. It happened to me when I did that stretch in the silver-mines, and it has happened to our lady of Ontario: you become British by contrast, and start living the life that people have always assumed of us anyway. You start making tea at 4 p.m. without quite knowing why, and using words like "decorum" that would never normally occur to you.

Both those things, though, are good. Gentle pleasures and jovial dignity are something to be justifiably proud of. For that matter, so is the English approach to Liberty, best described as The Benefit of the Doubt. It's an attitude that I take to mean assuming the best about people until absolutely forced to abandon the concept.

Transatlantic readers, correct me if I'm wrong, but I've heard it said that the expression is unknown across the pond. Appropriate, perhaps, that the US has repealed habeas corpus for certain suspects.

If they ever try to pull shennanigans of that stripe here, you can be assured that I will be on my way.