The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Canada gets me again

I hate it when bands put punctuation in their name.

And now I'm going back down to Devon for a week. It's like Burning Man without all the art and sand. Peace.

Oh noes!

My belief system is crumbling! Damn you, peanut butter!

Monday, April 09, 2007

Or, the Importance of Wahing the Hands

There are many metrics for how good a man's life is. One that I think rather robust is the number of times in a given 12-month period that he feels close to vomiting. Through weakness of character and lack of foresight, I have increased this year's V-number by falling afoul of the demond drink.

I have spent a night spitting and thinking crazy feverish thoughts about how I would be less angry in the morning. When your body rejects tapwater, you know that you've crossed the line from indulgence to poisoning.

Frankly, I think it's time to start work on checking off one of my life goals: secular monasticism. Sobriety and vegetarianism1 are looking pretty good right now. A vow of celibacy wouldn't be much of a burden when you consider my face and love of Star Trek2, 3. Sustainable living, of course, is a cause celebré for me. Finally, the clothes are awesome.

1. Barbeque. I have been sweating beef fat all day. I feel like a McDonalds french-fry.
2. Oh no he didn't!
3. Picard was the best captain.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

I'm so confused

Have you ever done this? Today I woke up, had a shower, made breakfast, got dressed, checked my emails and websites, packed a briefcase and put on shoes before going "Why does my clock say 1.54? That's weird."

Yes. I woke up exactly four hours early (to the minute) for no real reason. This, note you, in the middle of a late-early (where less than 10 hours elapse between the end of a shift and the start of a new one. My second late-early of the weekend. I have had about 10 hours sleep total since Friday morning (the last sunset or sunrise to happen with me outside Premier Convenience Stores).

What's weirder is that, depsite apparently having only slept for three hours, I feel... well, like it's my normal waking up time.

I'm going on a clock hunt.

Today is going to be weird, I can tell.