The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Dante don't know me

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

"Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad."



Seriously, how did it get to 08.26?


OK, I guess, a legnthy post about feminism and being crushed this afternoon. I got to get my trousers on.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Marketing my soul

I have just had a telephone interview. Sadly, they didn't ask what my greatest weakness was so I never had the opportunity to say "My voice has low harmonics that make me sound horribly underqualified when I talk on the phone".

I admit, I was quite nervous. Putting yourself on the auction block is not an experience that comes naturally to me, especially commodifying all the stupid things I've done. Trying to find Communication Skills and Problem Solving Ability in that time I made tea in the interviews is... well, it's like squeezing grapes in the hopes of finding urine. That ain't what I did 'em for.

Still, now that I've made a show of trying to achieve headway in the world of Actual Jobs and failure has come along to resuce me, I can go back to my comforting world of algebra and wearin' a bath robe all day to save on heat.

Anyway, Jackanory is coming on.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Career advice

You know what? I've had it with these snakes applications. I'm going into a career that doesn't need any applications.


Seriously, I'll bring an atmosphere of intelectualism and geekery that has hitherto been undererpresented in MOBO.

My breakthrough album will be dedicated to the memory of Kool and the Gang. It will be called "Have sex with me despite your reservations".

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Hunt

I have set aside today to decide what I want my future to be. It is not going so well. So far I have got to "Education has served me pretty well so far, maybe I should keep on doing that?" and looking for PhD money. I got a few ideas, but I find that when the conscious mind faces up to big questions, a voice at the back of my mind satarts saying "Hey, you know what would be awesome? If people started referring to money by old-fashioned words. 5p could be a shilling, 50p 'half a crown'. It's a shame we don't have a quarter, because then that could be a 'farthing'. SELF, LET's GO AND PLAY XBOX."

It's quite distracting.