The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Dante don't know me

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very High
Level 2 (Lustful)Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

"Charon ushers you across the river Acheron, and you find yourself upon the brink of grief's abysmal valley. You are in Limbo, a place of sorrow without torment. You encounter a seven-walled castle, and within those walls you find rolling fresh meadows illuminated by the light of reason, whereabout many shades dwell. These are the virtuous pagans, the great philosophers and authors, unbaptised children, and others unfit to enter the kingdom of heaven. You share company with Caesar, Homer, Virgil, Socrates, and Aristotle. There is no punishment here, and the atmosphere is peaceful, yet sad."



At 4:10 pm, December 01, 2006, Blogger Laura said...

I got purgatory. Oh yeah.

At 5:02 pm, December 01, 2006, Blogger ck215 said...

Hmmm. I seem to have "moderate" connections to the gluttons and the panderers. Fortunately, I managed to make it to purgatory.

At 5:46 pm, December 01, 2006, Blogger Maxwell Edison said...

Level six? I get stuck with the burning tombs and unbelievers just for clicking "I don't believe in God"?

Biased test!

At 6:42 pm, December 01, 2006, Blogger Nathan said...

To be fair, if you hadn't also ticked "I am sexually promiscuous" and "I steal whenever the opportunity arises" then you could have dodged the bullet and ended up chillaxing with me and Socrates up on Level One.

I was once told that Purgatory was a labour camp where everyone has a parking meter in their forehead that slowly clicks over from "evil" to "redeemed". I don't know if that's pre- or post- Vatican II.

At 7:40 pm, December 01, 2006, Blogger Peter said...

Sorry, Alyssa. I'm just relieved that I get to live in Limbo, though I realize I was probably a small amount of homosexual activity away from Lustful. Speaking of homosexual activity, what's Socrates doing in Limbo?

At 8:56 pm, December 01, 2006, Blogger Nathan said...

I think the answer to your questions is that Socrates is answering everyone's questions with more questions.

Maybe there's an exchange rate between the value of your contribution to human knowledge and sin. Dialectic inquiry buys you a lifetime of having the wrong emotions. We should get the pope on the phone, see how Alan Turing and Oscar Wilde ended up.

Wasn't Socrates executed for atheism? I'm starting to think the difference between level one and six is pretty much decided based on your after-dinner conversation.


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