Use these phrases today

1): Love that dare not speak its name:
This phrase is awesome because it's only a few generations old, but is hilariously antiquated. These days, we not only dare speak its name but it's the basis of several network TV franchises and at least one major motion picture.

2) Spendocrat:
Paris and I had a conversation in which I said I'd vote for the Lub Dems in the Crappington West council election. Paris asked what party favour aboltion of the welfare state and closing the borders, on the grounds that poor people don't work hard enough and that parts of Leicester don't feel like England any more. I'm fairly confident that neither of us voted, though, as it was yesterday^*1. Let's call it a draw.

3) Nine-eleven
You may skip this one if you're not running for office. If you are, the phrase is Nine eleven nerver forgive. Wait, I mean never forget. Ha, don't make that mistake. People will think you lack the proper Muslim virtues. Crap. No. Christian virtues. Geez, this is why I'll never get into government.

*1. I worked from 9 to 9 (Like I did the day before, and will do again today). She is just loosing the ability to distinguish day and night by sleeping for four-hour snatches throughout the 24, and subsisting entirely on cigarettes and snakebite.