The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Neologisms without a hope

Slithy: I don't care what Charles Dodgson says, this means "Simulateanously sweaty and parched". You become slithy as a consequence of exercise while wearing waterproof clothing.

Dartmoor lung: Condition where deep breathing causes a sharp pain just behind the sternum. Caused by hard physical labour in cold, windy conditions. Causes panic, euphoria.

Dartmoor cufflinks: a consequence of getting slithy in cold weather. When your arms are Florida and your hands are Maine, you should expect an unpleasant sensation around the cuffs.

Oliver: Verb. Enjoying a meal or snack so delicious that immediately on finishing it you go and make some more. Equivalently, making food for two nights and chompfing it all down in one. Causes self-loathing in women, pride in men.

Between Brithnoth and the Devil: Idiom. A secret or question is said to be "between Brithnoth and the Devil" if it is unkowable, sinister, and possibly terrible.
Brithnoth was the Anglo-Saxon commander at the Battle of Maldon. Despite being very tall, he lost the battle due to his ofermod. No-one is really sure what ofermod is: it is an adjective that sounds a bit like "too much mind", and in the corpus of Old English it's only used twice: of Brithnoth, and of the Devil.

Awexsome (sometimes spelled aweXsome): Extremely awesome. If something is normally awesome, then it is awexsome on a critical hit.
Usage: Awexsome should only be used when awesome is insufficient. It describes things that cause emotion sufficient to use L3375p33k unironically. It should also not be used in Tolkeinian contexts to avoid confusion with "Orcsome".

Tycho in Rome: Figurative. When you claim that you'll be too busy to post much, then post twice as often as normal out of guilt. Two or three weeks of posts from here are essentially what seperates the modern blogger that I am from the guy who used to write A4 pages of cynicism on a 386 PC, print them out, and leave them lying around the computer lab.

If any of these get in the OED, I'll put it on my CV. Also, I'll eat a bunch of hats.


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