The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Sunday, September 10, 2006


My box-room here in the tower is a mess. There are three chief reasons for this.

1) The size of a room determines how much mess there can reasonably be before you have to start shoving piles of stuff around in order to open doors or use the desk. In my case, this happens when I leave a tube of toothpaste by the sink basin thing.

2) Work. 35 hours in one week? Now, you all know I'm not prone to hyperbole, but no-one in the history of the world has ever worked half as hard as I do.

3) Wire coat-hangers. When I put them in there, they were neatly stacked in a small area of the wardrobe floor. A few days ago, I pulled one out and hundreds of others said "Hey, let's all go! We're already all tangled up, it'll be an adventure!"
Due to factor 2) I was suffering from a certain lack of creative thinking, so I solved this issue by shaking the tangled mass untill all but one had fallen in a heap. I honestly don't know how they cause so much trouble. You could explain their numbers and enthusiastic attacchment to each other by saying that they've been breeding in the dark of the cupbaord, but I reject that because a) it is shameful animism and b) it implies that my household furnishings have a more active lovelife than I do. And that's just depressing.


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