Beardocolypse

I had a variety of objectives in mind when I stopped shaving. One of them was saving a few minutes every other morning. I have achieved this admirably. Another was to acquire a nickname taken from the Star Wars franchise, and this was accomplished partially. A third was to get some kind of enhancement bonus to WISDOM, but it turns out that real life doesn't work that way and looking back on it, I do recall coming up with this plan while staring at a gallon of milk.

I've had this hair on my face for a little over a year now, and since there are still no signs of magical powers, I can only assume that I have learnt as much from it as I am going to.

I am going to shave on Sunday, August the 12th.

What should a man do when he knows he'll only be bearded for ten more days?

(I regret to inform that "take a plane" is unlikely to be achieved. It looked sketchy when I was late for my ship and thought I'd have to buz into John Lennon International and say "Hi, I'm a haggard bearded young adult travelling alone without luggage. Any chance you can sell me a one-way ticket to Belfast with no advance booking on this fine Friday midnight?" Fortunately, it turns out that Norfolk Line Ferries employ much more lenient check-in staff than Ryanair do.)