The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Sunday, July 15, 2007


So. Boxer-briefs.

I have yet to be convinced.

I should stress that, despite wanting to show off my GCSE in RE1, what I am wearing are not Kaccha2. Just, you know, boxer-briefs.

I am not one to discuss my man-parts on the internet, so I guess I'll just draw this little note to a close. Don't know why I mentioned it.

1. A full GCSE, too. I took extra classes, and can say gloss Jihad to The Good Fight with the best of them. Of course, this makes the Express's tubthumping all the more grating since they like to invoke one in order to defeat the other. Hey, guys, do you think maybe it would be peachy-keen to make your newspaper logo a soldier from a religious war? AWESOME.
2. There are three main reasons that it is innacurate to describe them as kaccha. a) Instead of a drawsting they have an elasticated band b) I am a firengi3 c) I'm not wearing them because I'm a member of the Khalsa, or because I've triumphed over lust (I haven't) or even because of the philosophy of martial independance developed by Guru Gobind Singh. I'm wearing because they were cheap4 and fulfil all the core functions of underwear.
3. For reference, I am also a Gringo, Gweillo, Gaijin and a Sassenach.
4. Since I bought them in the town market, I assume this is because they fell off the back of a corrupt night-watchman at a Nottingham warehouse.


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