The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

PHP made by the men of Westernesse

Have you ever wondered who in Middle-Earth you most resemble? I mean, really wondered? Perhaps you've gone so far as to take automated internet tests, but are dissapointed by their repeated tendency to fall into a few simple mistakes.
"Are you tall?"
I'm 175 cm and 80 kg. I guess that makes me a hobbit?
"Do you use a bow?"
No, I don't use a bow. I'm an electrical engineer.

The good news is that I have refound something that allows me to give hope to man.

We put a lot of effort into this. It's manufacture is a precious memory for me. We drank a few beers, sat on the floor, talked about the good times and classified 25 figures from Tolkien according to how materialistic we thought they were.

Being huge geeks, this test is firmly rooted in the books: If you get Gimli as your result that means we think you're dour, passionate, and have a clear life plan. It does not mean that we think you have a beard and are able to be thrown.

Me? Well, I took it immediately on completion in 2005, and I took it again just now. My top result is unchanged: Legolas Greenleaf. In retrospect, I think the fit is suprising good.


At 9:38 am, November 16, 2006, Blogger Maxwell Edison said...

Merry Fucking Brandybuck.

Fuck you, test.

At 9:39 am, November 16, 2006, Blogger Maxwell Edison said...

Interestingly my top five are all either hobbits or sons of the steward of Gondor.

At 1:28 pm, November 16, 2006, Blogger Nathan said...

If you don't think Meriadoc Brandybuck (Knight of the Riddermark) is awesome then you need to remember that this test is based on the books, not the films. Merry fucking kills people.

It was cut out for time reasons, but pick up a copy of The Return of the King and just read the chapter "The Scouring of the Shire" (I can send the BBC Radio Version to you if you prefer). In this chapter, Merry and Pippin are both heroes that would not be out of place in a action film based on the life of Winston Churchill, starring a young Arnold Schwartzenneger.

At 2:37 pm, November 16, 2006, Blogger Maxwell Edison said...

Ah, that's OK then. I'm thinking homoerotic curly haired stoners from the films, aren't I?
On the plus side, Faramir AND Boromir. Score.

At 3:12 pm, November 16, 2006, Blogger Laura said...

Bilbo Baggins. Oh yeah.

At 7:56 pm, November 16, 2006, Anonymous Smeagol said...

It remains the same for me as well: Gandalf and the Rohirrim. But I really wish that I was...sneaking.

At 8:03 pm, November 16, 2006, Blogger Nathan said...

1) Actually, Merry is still a stoner. And curly-haired. But he's still like Jules from Pulp Fiction with a better upbringing.

2)Bilbo? So you love cream teas and books more than anything. If I remember rightly, Emmathy also scored highly on the Hobbit front.

3) You must have answered "Strongly agree" to "I enjoy resolving plotlines and destroying everyone".

At 4:36 am, November 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cream teas and books - I studies humanities in Oxford. If the cap fits...


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