The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Did I ever see the world until this moment?

If you're like me, you love pre-bottled curry sauce. It's so easy and delicious! You just fry up your chicken or peppers or beef or spaghetti or whatever and then you just throw on the curry sauce and pow! That's not just going to keep you alive, that'll have you winnin' card games and makin' killer Chuck Norris jokes.

Guys. Screw curry sauce. You need to be buying curry paste.

First of, OK, if you have yourself a jar of sauce then it's just one glorious evening, like the fading of the lilac or a high-price escort. Paste, on the other hand, knows that you work hard. Paste is willing to drive so you don't have to. Paste will always be there for you.

So here's how you make yourself a dinner when you've shed all the tomatoes and cocanut milk and colloidal suspensions that make sauce, sauce.

Boil up some rice. How much doesn't really matter, you'll eat it all. When you taste the first forkful, the long-chain polymemeroils will run right up to your hypothalamus and push the button makred "yes". Just think "How much matter do I want to put in my belly?"

So anyway, once your rice is boiled, get a forkful (just a forkful) of curry paste and mash that delight into your bowlful of rice.

Thank me later.


At 1:20 pm, November 22, 2006, Anonymous Laura said...

On a similar theme, a really annoying aspect of the Canadian imported foods selection is the pesto. Whereas in the UK you can get good concentrated pesto (I'm thinking sacla or Tesco finest), thickened up with peccorino cheese so that just a teaspoonful with a healthy slug of olive oil will flavour a whole bowl of pasta, here it is weakly concentrated and swimming with oil, so you have to use lots, and it's alread import price. Damn that basilly goodness.


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