The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Extracts from the Library Lexicon

I know that you fellows like to daydream about what it might be like to work in the Bodleian bookmines with me and the team, so I'm going to share a little slice-o'-life with you in the form of the neologism we're spoutin' on a daily basis.

J-crisis, noun. Anything that goes badly wrong and has long term consequences. Originally the term referred specifically to the two weeks of lost time due to having to work around a team of Joiners. However, it is now not uncommon to hear someone exclaim "Man, what a jay". It's also been aplied to human beings, though of course I would never be that uncharitable.

The Moran, noun. Something that never turns up and has to be worked around or replaced. The be properly termed the moran, there should be no warning and no explanation. e.g. The work of the electricians over-ran, so in week two to six, access to level six was the moran. More generally, something you need but are never going to get.

(To take a) Burrows, noun and verb. To push a trolley around with nothing on your mind and no particular destination, maybe humming a januty tune. Mostly used to regain emotional and spiritual peace, but also to extend tea-breaks to the union-mandated 45 minutes.
In an early episode of the hit TV series Scrubs, Dr. Perry Cox can be seen "taking a burrows", though in his case he's pushing a cadaver in a wheelchair.

I think these words should have a wide applicability in workplaces everywhere, unlike more specific terms such as Endbend, Red Boxers, or to "do some h. c.". See if you can introduce them in your place of work this week.


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