The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007


Pardon my French tonight. I just trimmed my beard and so am slightly less magisterial than usual.

Let's not mince words: the opportunity to feel smug is a precious one. It's a nice feeling- almost as good as "snug".

My favourite smugportunity1 recently came from watching clips of an angry Australian satirist.

John Safran: "Point to Zaire on this map. Go on you smug fuck, show me where it is. I'll give you ten seconds. Come on, you're not a dumb American. Come on!"

Me: "Well, Zaire ceased to exist back in the nineties, but this big-ass slab of land on the equator in Africa is the Democratic Republic of Congo, formerly Belgian Congo. If I remember rightly they're also called Congo-Kinshasa to distinguish themselves fro mthe neighboring Republic of Congo, a.k.a. Congo-Brazzaville. It has one of those democratic Presidents who never has elections and hands on power to his eldest son. It's also an unparalleled shitstorm of hatred.

John Safran: Issues, death, ingnorance, hypocrasy

Me: Man, I'm awesome.

1. For some reason I assume there's a better word for this in German.


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