The Bran Report

It's good for parts of you that you'd probably rather not think about.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


1). When I came to stay in this house 5 days ago, there was a full five-litre carton of cooking oil by the oven. It is now a little over half-full. Only two people use any.

2). When I came to stay in this house 5 days ago, there was a cheesegrater just below the surface of some murky grey water in the sink, much like the Dead marshes near the Black Gate of Mordor. This situation is completely unchanged.

3). I aspire to never live in an all-mnale household.

4). This house has good heating. Being cold is for chumps.

5). I re-set my alarm five times. Getting up early has won my 2006 "Why does a man have to start work before the sun does, that just isn't natural" award for things I don't like doing. There are other such awards.

6). December is an apporporiate time to hand out awards for the year. I likle to set an example for all my readers that are tabloid magazines.

7). The numbered list makes me want to try to think up more comments until I get to ten.


At 6:17 am, December 21, 2006, Blogger Peter said...

Since you seem about as miserable about the future as I do, here's something to brighten your day:
These clips are about a man who needs no introduction.

At 6:20 am, December 21, 2006, Blogger Peter said...

Oh, and you need to watch this. It's probably the most insulting thing anyone has ever done to George W. Bush. God bless you, Stephen Colbert.


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